Thursday, 28 March 2013

I Believe I Can Write

It's been exactly two months since I've written here so I thought I'd better check in and give an update or people will think this blog has died. My only excuse for my laxness it that life has gotten in the way. First of all I started a creative writing course which takes up a lot of time, and on top of that we're renovating our house and it looks like a bomb site. My job this Easter weekend is to try to restore a bit of order to the chaos and then hopefully my creativity will be revived. I'm the type of person who needs to be organised and clutter-free in order to write and that just hasn't been possible for the last couple of months.

AS GOD IS MY WITNESS I WILL NEVER RENOVATE AGAIN! (at least not while I'm living in the house).

That's not the only reason for the impasse in my blogging and writing in general. I'm trying to read more this year and I also mentioned a few posts ago that I was changing direction and toying with the idea of a new pen name. I thought I had a novella almost ready to publish in a different genre, but when I left it for a couple of weeks and then looked at it again I realised it's nowhere near ready to see the light of day. I want to grow as a writer and I know that takes time but I just can't shake the feeling that I should be writing constantly. It's hard to do this when everything I write seems so flat and unoriginal and my muse has left the building. I know I need to give myself time to refresh but I'm just so darn impatient that  I want everything finished NOW.

 One of my high school English teachers wrote on my report card once that I need to show more depth in my writing and I think she was spot on. I still struggle with this problem to this day. Some writers paint such beautiful pictures with words and make you savour the language as much as the storyline. I want to be one of those writers but it's not a skill that can be learnt overnight. It takes hours and hours of painstaking labour and endless rewriting - things that require vast reserves of patience. When I next release a book I want to feel that it's my absolute best work and something I can be justifiably proud of. I am proud of the books I've already written because they've been important milestones in this journey towards becoming an author, but I know in my heart of hearts that I need to give more and dig deeper to find out what I'm truly capable of. I think this applies to everyone who is travelling on this road so the message of this post is don't settle for second best when it comes to your writing. Try your hardest and keep working on it till you are satisfied it's worthy of you and your readers. And when it all starts to get you down repeat these words over and over in your head till like a mantra till you convince your subconscious mind they are true:

I believe I can fly
I believe I can touch the sky
I think about it every night and day
Spread my wings and fly away
I believe I can soar
I see me running through that open door
I believe I can fly
I believe I can fly
I believe I can fly


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